Have a Berry Good Friday

Hot news and politics takes, humor and cartoons, plus music today from Chuck Berry, Jason Isbell and David Crosby, Sandy Denny doing Fats Waller, and Procol Harum's forgotten classic.

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Andy Borowitz: Trump Orders Kevin McCarthy to Go to Prison in His Place. “I can think of no greater honor than going to prison for this wonderful man,” McCarthy said.

Jimmy Kimmel: “So they say Trump could potentially get extradited from Florida to New York. If he does end up in prison, I think we should give him Twitter back. I don’t know about you, but I’d want to know everything that goes on in there, right? I’d pay for that.”

Jimmy Fallon: “Not only did 175 Republicans vote against the riot commission, they also want to make Jan. 6 ‘Bring your insane rioter to work day.’”

HEADLINE OF THE DAY, from Wash Post: “A fungus could turn some cicadas into sex-crazed ‘salt shakers of death.” Runner-up from NY Times: “Secretary of state confirms the U.S. does not want to buy Greenland.”

QUOTE OF THE DAY from Michael Dobbs’ new book on Nixon, King Richard: “Just remember you’re doing the right thing,” Nixon told H.R. Haldeman, who was about to resign. “That’s what I used to think when I killed some innocent children in Hanoi.”

From the great Steve Brodner:

Oh, brother: CNN anchor Chris Cuomo in hot water for attending virtual strategy sessions with his brother’s senior staff to advise on how to handle sexual harassment claims against the governor. Late last night Chris apologized: "I put my colleagues here, who I believe are the best in the business, in a bad spot. I never intended for that, I would never intent for that, and I'm sorry for that."

GOP heartless on jobless: Nearly all of the nation’s GOP governors have cut off a $300-a-week federal unemployment benefit, beginning in June, that they and many business executives blame for discouraging the unemployed from seeking jobs.

CNN revealed last night that its longtime Pentagon correspondent Barbara Starr has been informed that federal prosecutors under Trump “had obtained her phone and email records covering two months, between June 1, 2017 to July 31, 2017." As in the recent Wash Post case, the legal process to obtain the records was approved in 2020, toward the end of the Trump years.

The Atlantic labels this good news for Dems: “Even amid soaring participation from all major racial groups, Asian Americans increased their turnout by more than any other cohort.” Yesterday Biden signed a bill addressing hate crimes against Asian-Americans.

Better Lie, Hillbilly: Politico asks: “So what is J.D. Vance [once an anti-Trumper] doing on Twitter these days, trolling the left in the culture wars? The easiest answer is that Vance is eyeing a Senate run. Peter Thiell, his onetime boss, recently donated $10 million to a PAC on his behalf. Winning a GOP primary requires certain right-wing bona fides….But there’s a deeper reason why a cerebral cultural figure like Vance would convert to Trump-style trolldom: In today’s political and media culture, trolling is the shortest, simplest path to a level of attention you’d never get any other way.”

Politico has meaty scoop! “NICK OFFERMAN, aka RON SWANSON of Parks and Recreation, will appear before the House Energy and Commerce Committee Wednesday to urge Americans (particularly Republican men) to get vaccinated.”

This year's Atlantic hurricane forecast predicts the sixth unusually active season in a row.

Emily Wilder, a brand new staffer at The AP, was terminated this week, evidently for, as Wash Post puts it, "tweets of hers referencing her advocacy for the Palestinian people and opposition to the actions of the Israeli government..."

For the hot weather, or just this weekend: NY Times’ picks for best summer beers.

Tennessee has barred doctors from giving hormone treatments to transgender minors before puberty. Of course, experts said they knew of no doctors in the state who did so.

Now New York State is going the Vax sharpening route, with a $5 million grand prize lottery for anyone who gets vaccinated in one of the 10 state vaccination sites between May 24-28.

Weekly news in review from Harper’s:

Chick-fil-A began rationing dipping sauces amid a nationwide shortage. Engineers in San Francisco were attempting to silence a loud hum emitted by the Golden Gate Bridge that could be heard 10 miles away. Indian officials installed a net in the Ganges to catch the bodies of COVID-19 victims, hundreds of whom have been cast into the river or buried in shallow graves because of overcrowding in crematoriums, and a 76-year-old Indian woman who had tested positive for COVID-19 awoke just as her family was about to begin her cremation.

Canadian psychologists reported that “bullshitters” are more intelligent. Sand samples from Cerne Abbas revealed that the chalk pictograph of a man with an enormous penis wielding a club dates to the late Saxon period. “Formal graffiti charges” were filed against an Auckland man who drew colorful penises around potholes to highlight poor road conditions. “I’ve tried other ways, you know,” said the man. “Quite often I feel like they simply ignore me.” In Chicago, which has held the top ranking on Orkin’s list of America’s “rattiest” cities for six years in a row, a humane society announced that it would be releasing 1,000 feral cats to combat infestations. The actor Vincent D’Onofrio confirmed that he was once mugged by a monkey.

Music

One of the great session cats, Swampers’ drummer (and Muscle Shoals Sound Studio cofounder) Roger Hawkins has died. He was 75. Played on scores of hits, such as “Chain of Fools,” “Respect,” “Tell Mama,” and “Mustang Sally” and onward for decades.

Born on this day in 1904: Fats Waller, American jazz pianist, composer, singer and entertainer. Here’s an unusual jazzy take (for her) of one of his tunes by Sandy Denny (voice and piano).

On this day in 1955: Chuck Berry recorded “Maybellene” at Universal Recording Studios, Chicago, which would be his first hit single and, some say, one of the very first true “rock ‘n roll” songs. He adapted it in part from the Western swing fiddle tune “Ida Red.” Video below is from 1965, not its claim of 1958, but is still really something, as Chuck rocks hard even with a jazz combo behind him. Kiddies, bow down to the true King.

On this date in 1970: Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young released the protest single “Ohio,” written by Neil Young. Here’s a recent version with Crosby helping out my man Jason Isbell.

On this day in 1971: Marvin Gaye released his ultra-classic album What's Going On.

And on this date in 1980, Joe Strummer of The Clash was arrested at a wild gig in Hamburg, Germany, after smashing his guitar over the head of am audience member.

The Story From a Guy Who Knows: A couple of days ago, I posted a wonderful recent performance of “The Wanderer” by Dion and friends in a diner. Now I see today a bio-play of the man is getting a pre-Broadway tryout, also titled The Wanderer. It’s written by Charles Messina (A Room of My Own) and directed by Kenneth Ferrone (Rent: Live). Hoping for an appearance by Sam Cooke.

Song Pick

Much underrated Procol Harum’s followup single to their Bach-inspired smash “A Whiter Shade of Pale” stayed in the same vein and also by Brooker & Reid—it didn’t score nearly as well but some consider it superior. Here’s an extended version with the added organ/piano/guitar interplay they were known for.

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Greg Mitchell is the author of a dozen books, including the bestseller The Tunnels (on escapes under the Berlin Wall), the current The Beginning or the End (on MGM’s wild atomic bomb movie), and The Campaign of the Century (on Upton Sinclair’s left-wing race for governor of California), which was recently picked by the Wall St. Journal as one of five greatest books ever about an election. His new film, Atomic Cover-up, just had its world premiere and is drawing extraordinary acclaim. For nearly all of the 1970s he was the #2 editor at the legendary Crawdaddy. Later he served as longtime editor of Editor & Publisher magazine. He recently co-produced a film about Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony.